


You're (so) Gorgeous

by MaraSenpai1997



Category: Original Work
Genre: Coming Out, Developing Relationship, F/F, Freeform, Friendship, Illnesses (mentioned), Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Origin Story, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-18
Updated: 2017-11-18
Packaged: 2019-02-04 01:42:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12760542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaraSenpai1997/pseuds/MaraSenpai1997
Summary: ~I can't say anything to your face~No. Guys. A guy, no girls. Guyguy guy guy guy, a girl. No. Yes. Maybe?An interpretation of falling in love with a girl and loving her through thick and thin.





	You're (so) Gorgeous

**Author's Note:**

> This wasn't planned, but this idea suddenly popped up and I had to write it. As it didn't exactly fit in with any fandom I write for, I decided to make it an original work. Please take in consideration that:  
> \- I'm a heterosexual woman who has no idea how coming out works (so don't take this a the truth)  
> \- I'm raised in an LGBTQ+ friendly family, so I have no idea how family actually handle homophobia.  
> \- I never write in the first point of view, nor do I read it a lot (or, actually, only read it when I really want to read a certain book) so it probably is very amateurish.
> 
> **Title:** Gorgeous - Taylor Swift

The first thing that caught my gaze was her hair. Red. Genuine red hair. It was indeed more pleasant to look at than my homework. Seconds later, my gaze was drawn to her face. It was like the starry sky, making me wonder if I could drawn the constellations on her face if I knew them. Then, there was the smile. The megawatt smile that lit up the entire library, that made my heart leap into my throat.

 

No.

 

Mentally kicking myself, I returned to my homework. Ridiculous, she was a total stranger. I didn’t come here to watch people, especially not _girls_. Where was Emmett when I needed him the most? Right, sitting through a lecture.

 

The next day, I handed my homework in unfinished. All day, the images of red hair, beautiful freckles and a megawatt smile had kept me up.

 

~*~

 

A boy. Of course, someone like her wasn’t single.

 

Hiding behind my book, I watched the redhead with interest. It was creepy, I have been doing this for weeks, maybe months. But she was always there, always smiling, still looking alive. So warm, so bright. Her entire presence was just captivating.

 

Now, she was talking with a guy, offering him her bright smile. He was blushing, I couldn’t blame him. She was truly captivating, and that was fine. It wasn’t wrong to find someone pretty. Emmett also thought some men were handsome, so that gave me all the right to consider women pretty.

 

I didn’t realise I was staring for very long, as I was caught by surprise when the girl met my gaze. Her smile grew softer, causing my heart to leap into my throat. She never had smiled like that to anyone, not as far as I was aware of.

 

Ignoring the apparent warmth on my cheeks, I ducked behind my book. It was just warm in the library, that’s all.

 

~*~

 

Her name was Michelle, not that it did matter. A name didn’t change anything. I still didn’t like girls.

 

~*~

 

“Is it weird to find a girl pretty?” I asked Emmett, who for once joined me in the library.

 

Emmett looked at me oddly, before smiling gently. “No, it’s not,” he said. “It isn’t just too common for girls to like other girls.”

 

What? I offered Emmett a confused look. “But you think guys are handsome,” I said.

 

“That explains everything.”

 

This didn’t explain anything. I wasn't interested in girls, I just thought they were pretty. It was entirely reasonable to find girls pretty.

 

“Olivia, I’m gay. I like men.”

 

I waited for Emmett to say he was joking, that it was all a lie. But he looked dead serious.

 

“But I’m not gay,” I protested, grasping at straws.

 

I couldn’t love a girl. No, I wasn’t raised to like girls. Always men. My parents always said that sooner or later, I would settle down with a guy and get many adorable grandchildren. I didn’t want to marry, I didn’t want kids, so I wasn’t exactly on the same line as my parents. Still, girls? No. Guys. Emmett was out of the question, but again, a guy.

 

_Guy guy guy guy- maybe a girl? No, a guy. Definitely a guy. It must be a guy._

I looked up, seeing the Michelle watching Emmett with jealousy. She probably liked him. Maybe I should tell her that I and Emmett weren’t dating.

 

What if she liked me?

 

No. Guys. A guy, no girls. _Guy guy guy guy guy,_ a girl. No. Yes. Maybe?

 

~*~

 

“You look like you need this.”

 

I frowned at my book, trying to place the voice. It wasn’t Emmett, I would recognise that one out of thousands. Plus, it was a girl.

 

Looking up, I felt my throat run dry. There she was, in all her glory. Her smile was even prettier up close, and I could count her freckles. I really should start to learn the constellations, if not just to _fantasise_ about drawing them on Michelle’s face.

 

“Are you talking to me?” I ask, not sure if I just imagined things. After all, I have been watched her for over a year, and I doubt she ever had noticed me.

 

Michelle smiled. “Yes,” she said, plopping down on the seat opposite of mine. “You don’t mind?”

 

I wasn’t sure how I managed, but a wobbly smile ended up on my face as I took the cup of coffee.

 

“I think I’m going to die,” I mutter into my coffee, evidently forgetting that _she_ was there.

 

So, it wasn’t a surprise when I nearly spilt the coffee when Michelle started to laugh loudly, her almost cackling barely muffled by her hand.

 

“I thought accountancy students didn’t stress,” Michele said, her whole face had lit up. “But I clearly had been wrong.”

 

I snorted into the coffee, taking a tentative sip. I wasn’t ready to actually spit it out.

 

“Yeah, no. Ask Emmett. He has seen me crying over numbers more than once.”

 

Michelle’s face fell a little. “Ah, your boyfriend?”

 

I grimaced. “Best friend.”

 

Hope flickered on Michelle’s face. So, she _did_ like Emmett. I hardly could blame her, Emmett was a great guy, it was just a pity for her that he was into guys.

 

“Well, it was nice talking to you, Olivia,” Michelle winked and got up again, leaving as nothing happened.

 

Blinking in surprise, I wonder how she managed to acquire my name. Maybe Emmett had told her? Why would it matter anyway, I’m not interested in girls, it was just a phase, really.

 

~*~

 

“Do you like movies?”

 

Up until now, I only had met Michelle in school, mainly the library. So, I was honestly surprised to see her here, from her red hair to her megawatt smile.

 

“Yes?” I wasn’t sure. Did I like movies? Probably. I mean, I liked going to the movies with Emmett if both of us had time. “I think so.”

 

Michelle clapped her hands together. “Great!” she said. “Would you like to go with me?”

 

Why would she invite me along? We didn’t know each other; we were complete strangers. Unless… was this a date?

 

I could already hear my parents telling me that no, it wasn’t a date. Women often hung out together, as friends. But we weren’t friends. So, was it a no?

 

Pushing a piece of paper between the pages of my book, I closed it in favour of grabbing my agenda.

 

“Sure,” I heard myself say. “Um, when do you have time?”

 

My heart missed a couple of beats when Michelle smiled brightly, lighting up the entire room.

 

“It’s a date.”

 

~*~

 

Her lips tasted like buttery popcorn and artificial strawberry. My heart was beating out of my chest, my hands were shaking, and I was sweating.

 

I was kissing a girl. I was kissing a girl, and I was enjoying it.

 

This was wrong. I shouldn’t kiss a girl; my parents didn’t raise me like this. It should be a guy.

 

A guy. Definitely a guy. Not a girl, a guy. _Guy guy guy_ , maybe a girl? No, it should be a guy. But I was enjoying this. Seriously enjoying it.

 

Still, it should be a guy. But, Michelle. This was Michelle. The redhead with her megawatt smile. The art student who often walked around with paint-smudged cheeks, or the artsy-clothing. The woman who stole my heart before I even realised it.

 

The movie had faded into the background when they parted. Michelle was smiling softly, eyes brimming with joy.

 

“I thought you didn’t like girls,” Michelle whispered, running her fingers through my hair. “Actually, I was pretty sure you were dating Emmett.”

 

This was foreign territory for me. I never dated before, neither men or women. I had kissed a few men in the past, but none of the kisses never had lingered this long, had made me feel this warm.

 

“I thought you liked Emmett,” I confessed, taking a gentle hold of her unoccupied hand. “And I didn’t know I liked girls- you are the first girl to make me feel like this.”

 

Michelle’s face grew flustered. “And what is ‘like this’?” she asks almost breathlessly.

 

“Alive.”

 

~*~

 

“I’m moving out,” I announce.

 

It wasn’t like my parents weren’t expecting it. I have spent the entire morning packing, the hallway steadily growing cluttered with my things.

 

My mum smiled sweetly. “I already suspected that,” she said.

 

My dad nodded in agreement. “So, you’re moving in with someone?”

 

I grimaced. I hoped my parents wouldn’t ask that question, I rather would have parted on better terms with them.

 

“Yes.”

 

Mum made a protesting noise. “And you haven’t introduced us yet?” she asks, genuinely sounded hurt. “Is it Emmett? You two always got along well, and he is a lovely young man. Should we expect grandchildren anytime soon?”

 

“No, it isn’t Emmett,” I said curtly. I wanted to be anywhere but here right now.

 

“Ow,” mum seemed more than excited that it wasn’t Emmett. “What’s he like?”

 

“She,” I correct her.

 

I saw both my parents’ faces fall. This was it, here I would get their disapproval.

 

 “So, you’re moving in with a friend?” Dad asks.

 

He knew the answer already. Everyone in this room already knew the answer.

 

“Girlfriend.”

 

Like expected, neither of my parents looked terribly thrilled.

 

“Oh dear,” mum whispered. “Really, you’re just confused. Maybe seeing a doctor-”

 

“I’m not sick!” I exclaimed. “I have thought that it was wrong, really wrong, but I _do_ love her.”

 

“Darling, it’s just a-”

 

“It isn’t a phase,” I snapped back. It probably was the first time in my whole life I talked back to my parents, not agreeing with them. “And, to make things easier, I will step straight out of your lives. You can find me when you decide that it’s okay for me love another woman.”

 

I doubted I would ever see my parents again after today.

 

~*~

 

“It’s okay,” Michelle said as she carded her fingers through my hair, gently working out the knots. “You can have my parents, they’re pretty great.”

 

I looked up to meet her gaze. Her smile was soft and caring, a thick line was drawn on her forehead. She was worried, for me.

 

The entire drive back home, I wondered if it had been worth it to cut off my parents just for a relationship. It wasn’t only a relationship. It was Michelle, who probably cared more for me than my parents ever had done. After all, they never had agreed with me studying accountancy. They had hoped I would just get married young to a well-raised gentleman. See where that did get me. In the lap of the most beautiful women I had to honours of meeting.

 

“I would love to meet your parents sometime,” I said, gently touching her cheek. “I mean, you’re their daughter, they must be two amazing people to raise someone like you.”

 

Michelle blushed prettily.

 

“You’re awful,” she said half-heartedly. “Stop loving me so much.”

 

“Stop being so lovable then.”

 

~*~

 

“So you’re the one who captured my daughter's heart.”

 

I had expected the dad talk, despite the fact that I was a girl. But Michelle’s dad was smiling at me as if I was the answer to every question in the universe.

 

“Apparently,” I said, hoping that I wasn’t blushing too severely.

 

A happy smile appeared on his face. “I had expected you to wear something like a suit when Michelle said you were an accountant.”

 

Michelle giggled, elbowing my side.

 

“She was planning to wear one,” Michelle said.

 

It felt like betrayal. No, not really, but still. Betrayal!

 

“You two are so sweet,” Michelle and I were sharing a silly smile. We had heard that so often, people saying we were cute. It was weird, as Michelle was apparently the only cute one.

 

Michelle leaned closer, voice lowered to a mere whisper. “Don’t you dare to think you aren’t the cute one.”

 

To my own horror, I giggled. “I hate you.”

 

“Love you too.”

 

~*~

 

Emotions were a strange thing. Usually, Michelle was the more emotional one. I hadn't cried in ages, not during movies, not when I parted ways with my parents. Michelle cried during movies, she cried during one a few weeks ago. So, it was odd that I was the one bawling my eyes out.

 

The hospital was sterile, lifeless. It was draining, even if this was literally day one- it was just an hour ago that I got a call from the hospital that Michelle had been admitted. She hadn’t been feeling well, so she had gone for a check-up. Cancer. She had cancer. Not that far developed yet, but still. Too many people died from cancer, way too many people. I didn’t want to lose Michelle to something like this. Something I couldn’t battle against myself.

 

“Hey,” Michelle whispered from her hospital bed. Her hand gently touched mine, intertwining her fingers with mine. “It’ll be fine.”

 

I sniffed, squeezing her hand as if it was a lifeline. “I don’t want to lose you.”

 

“As long as my heart is beating, I won’t leave your side.”

 

Never before I had the feeling that my life was falling apart. But seeing Michelle sitting in her hospital bed, smiling through the fear, I wondered what I would do if she wouldn’t make it. If she died, a part of me would go with her. A large part.

 

~*~

 

“What did you do with your hair?”

 

I smiled sheepishly and ran my hand over my scalp. There was no hair left, which was a genuinely foreign feeling.

 

“Donated it,” I said, sitting down on the end of the hospital bed. “For wigs for cancer patients. And as there was barely anything left anyway, I decided to go bald. We can match that way.”

 

Even without her red hair, without the usual vibrant smile and glowing skin, Michelle looked beautiful. Though I was biased probably.

 

In all fairness, I wasn’t sure what kind of reaction I would expect. Just not that Michelle starts to cry big fat tears, her entire face growing red and blotchy. She was an ugly crier, but it didn’t make me stop staring at her and feeling the love.

 

“You’re such an idiot,” she said, voice thick with emotions. “I love you so damn much.”

 

The next words I said were foreign on my tongue, foreign to my ears. With a start, I realised I never had said it back, not to mention initiate it. “Love you too.”

 

~*~

 

“Who is a good boy,” Michelle cooed, cuddling with Emmett’s new pup.

 

It has been a few months since she had been discharged from the hospital and honestly, this was the first time I saw her smile like this. The cancer treatments had taken the toll on her. I knew she tried to hide it, but I could see it every day. The cramped apartment we shared in the middle of the city didn’t help. There was no fresh air, no greenery.

 

“How have you two been doing?” Emmett asks, sitting down on the chair next to me. Emmett’s boyfriend was currently showing Michelle pictures of the pup they had gotten weeks ago.

 

“It’s… okay,” I said. “I mean, aside from drowning in the medical bills, it’s going fine…”

 

Now I remember why I got along so well with Emmett in the first place. Instead of ending the conversation right there, he prodded a little, a nudge in the right direction.

 

“But?” he asks helpfully.

 

“I was planning on moving,” I started. “Away from the city. Yes, it would be a pain for work but-”

 

Would Emmett get it? Probably, after all, he was the one who had opted to move away from the city with his boyfriend. It was quieter, more peaceful.

“Is it worth it?”

 

“I hope so.”

 

~*~

 

“The last time you surprise me, you shaved your head,” Michelle pointed out as I carefully guided her out of the car, a blindfold hiding away her view. “So I’m not sure what to expect.”

 

Ignoring her worries, I guided her till we arrived at the white-picket fence. It was a cliché, but the house was lovely. It was far away from the big city, it had a garden, and it was a kid-friendly neighbourhood. So, in case we wanted to start a family, we wouldn’t have to move. Driving to work was a pain, at least a solid hour-and-a-half, but everything for Michelle, or at least this.

 

“They don’t have a return policy, so I hope you’re happy,” I said, untying her blindfold. As the soft cloth fell into my hands, I watched Michelle blink against the sunlight, probably trying to figure out where she was looking at.

 

“A… house?” she asks, puzzled.

 

“Correction,” I said, wrapping my arms around her middle. “ _Our_ house.”

 

Michelle gasped in surprise. “Seriously? How? I was pretty sure we’re drowning in debt.”

 

Brushing my lips against her bare neck, her hair currently was curling around her hair, I let out a low chuckle. “I have been saving some money, my uncle, who isn’t on speaking terms with my dad, left me some money after passing away _and_ Emmett was willing to give me an advance. Altogether, it was enough to get this house.”

 

Michelle turned around, her hands resting on my hips. “But, isn’t this far away from your work.”

 

Brushing my nose against hers, I pressed a quick kiss on her lips. “Isn’t relevant.”

 

~*~

 

I woke up with cold feet pressed against my leg. Grumbling under my breath, I softly kicked Michelle. In return, she giggled.

 

Berny- our oversized mountain dog, whined and repositioned, placing his massive body on my leg. Why did I let Michelle talk me into getting a dog again?

 

“Why again do I let us get a dog?” I ask, moving closer to Michelle.

 

Michelle giggled again. “Dear, we discussed this _five_ years ago.”

 

Sighing, I buried my face in my pillow. Michelle clearly was my weakness.

 

“I know you love him,” she teased me, slipping her cold hand underneath my shirt. I should have found a girlfriend with warm hands. “You probably love him more than you love me.”

 

Turning around to meet Michelle gaze, at least as far as that was possible with a heavy dog lying on you, I was greeted with a soft, lovable look. It was wild, wild to realise that this woman had been at my side for more than ten years.

 

“Nah, I love you so much, it’s ridiculous.”

 

Michelle flushed prettily, her megawatt smile lighting up the room.

 

“Love you too.”

 

I smiled as I saw her eyes flutter close. She probably was going back to sleep.

 

“Hey, what do you think about getting married?”

 

Michelle’s eyes flew open, surprise written all over her face.

 

“Really?” she asks excitedly.

 

I smiled, taking the hand she hadn’t stuck under my shirt. “Really.”

 


End file.
